If your mother has continuously been criticising you, belittling you, overcontrolling and making you feel guilty, yes, it sounds like a toxic mother.
Any mother can break down and do this unconsciously and unwillingly, they are humans, not saints, for God’s sake. But toxic mother does it regularly. That’s why the impact is huge.
Most often it happens in mother daughter relationship and it deeply affects girl’s self-esteem, it makes her tolerant towards bad/irrespectful behavior, puts her constantly down, belittles her wishes and feelings, might cause depression, anxiety or eating disorders.
So if you feel not enough, unworthy of love, prosperity, happiness, it can be indoctrinated by your perfectionist mother. You are not to blame. Remember, there is nothing wrong with you. You are not a defected item, you were just born in the wrong family, in another family you would have been nurtured and loved for who you are, appreciated and accepted because you are wonderful.
And I know it’s hard to believe you are amazing, you are unique, you have unique skills and talents and the world needs you. Why is mother wound so penetrating? Why do you feel guilty for wishing to be more, to have more? Because self-esteem and self-confidence haven’t been boosted, you were trying to get love from emotionally distant mom and you got burned over and over again.
So from an early age you have learned that you are not worthy of love, that you had to do something, to be someone else to get love. This is bullshit, this is mother’s desperation in a male-dominating society. Who knows what she had to sacrifize to raise you, but You are not guilty.
But you have to become conscious of this toxic relationship and unlearn those damaging attitudes. You as an adult have to set healthy boundaries how often and for how long you see your mother and focus on self acceptance and self-love. It’s a bumpy process, so the road is smoother if you find a reliable warm psychologyst to accompany you.