Have you been asking yourself how to heal a broken heart? Well, human beings are not purely rational. We are not advanced robots that can shut down the program if it‘s not functional. The problem is, we are spiritual beings, full of emotions, desires, needs, values and beliefs, right? Without loving, just like without air, we would die inside.
The main principle is that the less we feel loved at home, the earlier we tend to seek a loving relationship outside. That’s basically why the age of having sex has advanced. Everybody falls in love at a certain life stage, because it is the essence of our being. The deep psychological truth is, however, that in our intimate relationships, we tend to repeat our parents‘ behavioral patterns. And thus, very often we make mistakes and end up with the same consequences as our parents did. It’s not all that negative though. It seems that through relationships, we are healing the wounds from our childhood. Especially if we are learning life’s lesson and changing our behavioral patterns.
It’s ad, but if you didn‘t feel loved and appreciated by your parents or caretakers, it is very likely that you will fall in love without a response over and over again. On the one hand, love will give you wings and make you fly in your fantasy world. It makes you believe everything is possible. It will increase your creativity and connection with the Divine; for God says: whoever is in love, knows me for I am love. On the other hand, unrequited love hurts deeply and your self-confidence lowers. You start doubting yourself (I am not good enough for this guy/girl. If I was able to… I could win over his/her love). Another advantage of unrequited love is it’s safe: you won’t get pregnant or abandoned by that “bastard”, but you’ll be missing out on the opportunities to meet a nice guy and have mutual relationship.
Have your parents been emotionally unavailable for you? It is highly likely then that you might attract distant, careless, or even aggressive partners. And it’s very probable that in such relationships you‘ll end up hurt and disappointed, even more convinced that “all men are pigs and all men only want one thing…“ I don‘t know much about love at first sight for boys, but girls often fall in love with boys they barely know. They start almost worshipping and idealizing them. The solution could be to get to know “that amazing guy”, without a sexual relationship and then see how emotions and expectations shift. The truth is the more you get to know the person, the more you‘ll see how imperfect he is and your admiration will cease.
Don’t be discouraged, it is possible to break the unhappy love cycle. So how do you heal a broken heart? You need to realize the psychological principles and make a new decision. What happens is that our subconscious is trying to protect us from hurting in a relationship. As we live in a broken-relationship society, with many divorces and unhappy couples, we develop many fears around intimate relationships. So, our subconscious tries to help you by choosing the love object which is unavailable for ether one reason or another. Once we realize that, we can recreate the pattern by changing our mental focus and our beliefs. Of course, the easiest and fastest way to heal your broken heart is through relationship coaching.
What does this mean in practice? You should forgive your parents and abusive partners so that you can move on and have a happy, fulfilling life you deserve. Forgive yourself, and don’t torture yourself anymore: what a fool I‘ve been, and why does it always happen to me? You can’t ask a beggar to feed you, the same way you can‘t ask your parents to love you if they feel empty inside, can you? They love you the way they can and that should be enough. This very moment, you can put your hand on your heart and feel the center of your love in silence or beautiful relaxing music. This very moment, you have the power to change your focus from fear to love. This very moment, tell yourself “I am not afraid anymore to love and possibly get hurt. I believe that there are nice, caring, loving, available men out there waiting for me. I am prepared to love and decide to look only for the amazing, respectful man, I deserve.” Practice a heart meditation every day for 15 minutes and repeat the positive affirmation in your own words.